


Love's Radiance

by MissCherryBlossom, WhiteSky



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Acceptance, Best Friends, F/M, Heartbreak, Jealousy, Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2017-12-16 03:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCherryBlossom/pseuds/MissCherryBlossom, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteSky/pseuds/WhiteSky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When things get too much to bare, Lucy makes one of the hardest decisions in her life. That is to leave her guild. The guild she worked so hard for. And her reason? A love that she failed to cut just when it was starting to bloom. Instead, hid and nurtured it.<br/>Now, she pays the price. The only man she'll ever love getting married to someone else. The person she loves happy with someone else. And that someone else, someone who been around far longer her.<br/>With her decision, Natsu gets shaken up. Will he be able to get Lucy back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Leaving

"Are you sure about this Lucy?" Master Makarov asked.

"I am...I am sure" Lucy said. She was talking with the Master that afternoon about quitting the guild.

"If that is what you want then I have no reason to stop you" tha Master said as he gave a sigh full of sadness.

"Thank you...for everything up til now...I will never regret that I chose to join Fairy Tail" she said this as she hugged the Master. The Master hugged her back tightly.

She was like the Master's daughter. She knew that the Master would be really sad to hear this but she didn't want to be in the same place as Natsu.

They spent a lot of time talking in the office. the guild members were called there one or two at a time to say their goodbyes.

"Lucy...are you really leaving?" Erza asked her. Honestly, she didn't want to leave, but seeing Natsu so happy with Lisanna pained her.

"yeah I am... I just...just can't see him like that" Lucy said.

"It hurts too much" she continued. It was too much, even for her.

"We'll miss you Lu-chan" Levy said as she hugged her together with Erza. The three of them were crying already. After them, the Master asked Erza to call Gray. 

There was a knock on the door and Gray peeped in.

"Hey...uh..I'm not really that good with goodbyes so..." Gray was flustering about wich words to use or say.

"haha...It's alright" Lucy responded to the flustered gray.

"just...be careful...and take care of yourself alright..." Gray said with sadness in his eyes. Gray was like a brother to Lucy and Gray never failed to act like one to her, even now he still is brotherly.

Everyone had a chance to say bye to Lucy...exept for one...Natsu.

* * *

 

Lucy had her things packed and was ready to go. She stopped by the guild first to say her final goodbyes to everyone, including Natsu.

They had a group hug and other members gave Lucy remembrances.

Meanwhile, Natsu was frozen in his seat still processing the events that were happening.

"You can't leave!!!" Natsu shouted as he dashed over to Lucy.

"Of course I can...I'm already leaving" Lucy shot back at him.

"you...you can't...you can't just abandon the guild like this!!!!" Natsu shouted at Lucy. Everyone was shocked. especially Lucy.

They argued for a moment and eventually stopped when Natsu begged her to stay in the guild.

“Don’t go…please…”  Natsu begged her not to leave.

“I’m…sorry Natsu…I’ve…made up my mind” Lucy said as she made her way out of the guild.

She already had the symbol of Fairytail removed from her hand. She was really leaving. 

“Lucy…please stay…” Natsu was already crying. Lucy could figure out that much.

She wanted to turn around so badly but she knew that she can’t. If she did then she wouldn’t have the strength to leave anymore. She wanted to stay at the guild but it was just too painful to bear.

Natsu held on to her hand. He gripped it tightly and he didin't want to let her go.

"Nastu...please...let me go...I hve to do this" Lucy said as she persistently tugged her hand free from Natsu.

"Why?...Why do you have to go?" he asked but Lucy only remained silent.

 _'If you only knew Natsu, that I can't bear to see you so happy with someone else'_ Lucy thought as she got her hand free.

Natsu only saw her as a friend or a best friend. Nothing more than just a friend. That's all they'll ever be. 

Finally, when she reached the border of magnolia she turned around to face not only Natsu but also Erza, Levy, Gray and all the members of the guild. They all came to see her off. She smiled at them with tears falling from her eyes.

“Bye guys…I hope to see you all again someday…..” Lucy said as she continued to cry her heart out.

“You don’t have to go Lucy…you don’t even have a clear reason for leaving…right guys” Natsu said as he looked back at his fellow guild mates. They knew why she wanted to leave. They all knew except for Natsu.

“I’ll miss you…Natsu...I'll miss you very much” these were Lucy’s final words as she touched Natsu’s face one last time. Then she left for good. She never looked back at Magnolia as she walked away.

Natsu was left at the border of Magnolia crying. Confused and puzzled, not knowing what to do…at that moment he felt something thing more than just sadness and despair. He felt like a part of him just died. A large part of him withered and died in that instant.

 

* * *

 

 

Natsu’s wedding was three days away. He felt as though he were dead. Lucy was the one who planned everything here. All of this was because of her, but she’ll never get to see this.

“This is so…messed up” Natsu whispered as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“You should be happy right now. You are getting married to the woman you love, Lisanna” He tried to calm himself down. He couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with him. Maybe he was going insane.

“Stop thinking about Lucy for a second will yah!” He practically shouted at his reflection and he hit his head slightly as if trying to make himself forget about her.

But alas, nothing worked. He thought he would loose his sanity if he didin't stop thinking about Lucy. His mind was filled with her. Completely occupied by Lucy and her alone.

 _‘Why the hell did she leave at a time like this’_ he thought real hard.

 _‘She was supposed to be the maid of honor and yet…’_ still confused, he let out a sigh.

 _'She knew how important this event is for me and Lisanna'_ as he thought about this he felt something wrong. The kind of feeling you get when you make amistake or something like that.

Since he didn't really understand himself he decided to brush it off and just get some rest.

My big day's just three days away. He thought as he fell asleep.


	2. Part one: Searching for the Right choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late Update guys....  
> I hope you like it.

       

          Natsu was having a dream. It was different from all his usual fight-and-kill-all-evil-doers dream. This time the fight wasn't between him and evil, it was surprisingly with Lucy.

         "What happened to our team huh!? Me, you and happy! What happened to that!" Natsu shouted at Lucy.

         "It ain't my fault! You're always with Lisanna aren't you!? You barely have time for me and Happy!" Lucy shot back at him. Natsu was getting irritated by her. He was already irritated by the fact that they went to a mission without him.

         "Don't bring Lisanna into this. These things only concern us!" He shouted. Natsu moved forward pushing Lucy back.

         "She just got back! And I was only kind enough to make her feel welcome here!" Natsu was growing more and more irritated every passing minute.

         "If you care sooo much about Lisanna then why don't you take her with you on a mission then! Since it looks to me like you don't need me anymore. That's totally fine with me!" As she was shouting, Natsu couldn't help but notice that her eyes were starting to get wet. That she was stopping her tears from flowing.

         "You just...don't care about anyone else anymore, even me and Happy. Ever since Lisanna came back, you never had time for the both of us. Do we mean that little to you Natsu? Are we that unvaluable for you to not notice anymore? For...for you to just cast aside like that? Do we mean that little to?" Lucy mellowed down her tone but the effect was tears. She was crying now. This shocked Natsu all the more

          He felt a stabbing pain in his chest the moment he saw Lucy cry. He'd never seen her cry this much in front of him never the less because of him. Natsu wanted to comfort her and just hug her and make up already but he was also hurt. He was very hurt too.

        "Look I-" Natsu was about to say something but Lucy immediately cut him off.

         "You what, just forget it. Forget that we were ever a team, forget everything that has to do with me, I quit. Let Lisanna replace me. I'll tell Happy to stay with the both of you." Lucy said as she tried to suppress her tears and stop crying. And again, this shocked Natsu. He never thought that Lucy was this hurt to want to quit. He also never thought of replacing her, not even once. _No one could replace her._

* * *

         She tried to walk away but Natsu quickly stopped her from doing so.

 "What do you mean quit!? You can't do that. You can't quit!" Natsu yelled at her commandingly.

 "Why? Why can't I quit. Give me a good reason why" As Lucy said this everything turned black. He was all alone in the darkness and the only word he could hear was _'why'_ and it kept on repeating over and over.

 _'Why can't she quit.....'_ he thought

 _'Why don't I want her to quit.....'_ he thought

_'A reason why she can't quit....'_

        These were his last thoughts before Happy came to wake him up. 

    "Hey Natsu! You gotta wake up. We've got a lot to do today!!!" Happy yelled in his ear and it made him jump off his bed and fall right back down on the ground. He also hit his head on the headboard.

     "Ugh I'm awake already Happy, don't yell so loud at people's ears. Do you want me to go deaf three days before my big day?" Natsu questioned him.

     "No Sir!!!" Happy answered back cheerfully then quickly went out of Natsu's room.

        It was only three days before the Wedding day. The day he gets married to the woman he holds dearly to his heart. But something still felt so wrong.

This time it wasn't about Lucy anymore. It was clearly something else. The feeling that he's doing something that he shouldn't and couldn't do. Something he wasn't supposed to do. He felt it and it was pulling him away from the wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tnx for reading this  
> Hope you all enjoyed it :)))  
> Wait for my next UD


	3. Part 2: Figured Out

    

"What the hell was with that dream? Lucy would never say something like that."

      Natsu said as he walked to the guild hall. This was the place where he and Lisanna will get married later night. It looks beautiful, really. Everybody worked so hard for this day, and they still are. They're all bustling around and putting and fixing and cleaning and just preparing for Natsu's wedding. The arranged everything, up to the tiniest detail there was.

    He thought  _'Everything's just perfect....'_  but then something crossed his mind.

    _'But I guess it's not that perfect after all.'_

    He felt his chest tighten, and then he wheezed. Natsu couldn't breathe properly. It felt like all the oxygen in world disappeared. It happened all at once when he thought about _'Lucy....Lucy.....Lucy......Lucy'_. He couldn't help it. Lucy isn’t here and she won’t ever be.

His Best Friend wasn’t here. Best friend? He remembered something Lucy said before when she was still planning for the wedding, something about being best friends. Natsu never really knew what it meant but it was bothering him now more than it did before.

* * *

 

**_Flashback_ **

It was the second day after Natsu told Lucy that she’ll be the one planning their wedding. He saw that everyone was busy. A bright fleeting aura was really evident in the hall. He approached Lucy who was on the couch also quite busy with all the planning and stuff.

He crept behind her ever so gently and silently then took a peek at the arrangements and color schemes and other things to choose from for the grand, yet not too big, wedding. He was already right behind Lucy when he spoke in such a loud voice.

“You’re doing a Great Job Luce!!!” Natsu shouted.

“Kyaaa! Gosh, it’s just you Natsu.” Lucy said when she saw him. Natsu bent down and leaned on the back of the couch. Then he wrapped his arms around Lucy so that he could hold the pictures in her hands. He noticed that Lucy flinched when he did that.

“Uh Natsu, please stop hugging me.” Lucy said as she pushed his hand away. Natsu was then aware of the position they were in. It seemed like he was hugging Lucy from behind. When Lucy said that, Natsu noticed something else.

 _‘Lucy smells nervous…and she’s turning red, right up to her ears.’_ He thought

 _‘Is there something wrong with hugging?’_ another thought of his

“Why? What’s wrong with hugging? You’re my best friend after all. This should be okay right?” Natsu said as he hugged Lucy even tighter. He already expected that Lucy would push him away but he felt a little disappointed when she did. It was like he was hoping that Lucy would hug him back. As Lucy pulled away from his embrace, Natsu heard Lucy mumble something under her breath.

“Yeah, I’m only you’re best friend after all” That’s what Natsu heard from Lucy.

‘ _Only my best friend?’_

_‘What’s wrong with that?’_

_‘Doesn’t she want us to best friends?’_ These were the questions that came to his mind.

“Luce? Is there something wrong?” He asked her ever so sincerely. He took a step back as Lucy turned to him and smiled. Natsu noticed that there was sadness evident and expressed in that smile. It was kind of lonely and wanting.

“No! Nothing’s wrong Natsu. Everything’s just great.” Lucy said. Natsu heeded the fake sounding cheerful tone Lucy gave him. He really wanted to ask Lucy again but he thought that she would just give that same sad smile and the fake cheerful vibe like earlier so he let it go. But it always bothered him.

“Ok, if you say so.” Natsu said then gave her the wide smile he always wore.

**_End of Flashback_ **

* * *

 

Natsu gave out a long sigh after recalling that. Lucy gave him that forced smile that time. Natsu saw more of it afterwards but he would just dismiss the idea abruptly.

 _‘Does Lucy hate me?’_ That’s the thought that he got. The only thought he got when he thinks of Lucy now.

As he remembers all the things he and Lucy used to do, he suddenly feels a coiling at the pit of his stomach and aching in his chest. It was like he couldn’t breathe, just like when Lucy left. It’s like something was stuck in his throat and that thing is preventing him from speaking his mind and heart.

That was the exact feeling that was pulling him away from the wedding tonight. Natsu was beginning to be confused of his own feelings. He cares about Lisanna, he really does, but when Lucy steps in, it becomes different. Something more begins to rise when he’s with Lucy.

Natsu stared at Lucy’s picture and remembered all the times they fought together. All those times they laughed and cried and played around. All the times he saved Lucy from trouble and she did the same for him. He kept reminiscing those times, the times that can never be replaced. Natsu was placing the picture down when he heard a knock on his door.

“Yes, who is it?” Natsu asked the person on the other side of his door.

“Um it’s me, Wendy. Can I come in?” the girl asked.

 “Sure Wendy. The door’s open. Come in.” Natsu kindly said as the little blue-haired girl entered his room.

“Is there something wrong Wendy? Do you need help with something?” Natsu started asking as Wendy sat down on red leather chair near his desk.

“N-no. I just wanted to ask you if you know when Lucy’s coming back.” The innocent girl who did not know asked this question. And as someone older, Natsu was obliged to answer.

“I’m not sure Wendy. Nobody tells me anything anymore, especially when it’s about Lucy and why she left.” Natsu explained to the little girl.

“When will we get her back?” Wendy asked. So pure and innocent she really was.

"Don't know Wendy. She already quit the guild. But don't worry, I'm sure she'll come back. We're her friends after all right?" He forced up a smile to cheer the little girl up. He didn't want Wendy to feel frustrated or stressed about this matter since she's still too young for these kinds of problems. She was still pure and innocent in every way. Natsu didn't want her to feel more troubled as well.

"Well okay then. Since you're her best friend, I'm sure you'll be the first one she contacts when she decides to come back here. Thanks Natsu! You were a big help." Wendy smiled and left his room. After that Natsu was carried away in his sea of thoughts.

 _'Again with the best friend thing. Ever since that day, I was always  conscious of the word best friend, especially when I'm with Lucy. when we're together, I feel like I can accomplish anything. When she's in trouble, I'd risk my life just to save her. I don't know anymore. We're supposed to be best friends but I feel that there's something more than that. I just don't know what it is. A lingering feeling.'_ He thought. He felt something for Lucy, a feeling that he was not familiar with. He gets nervous, excited, empowered and even livelier. A mixture of different emotions stir him up when he's with Lucy.

He's starting a journey of figuring out his own feelings. His feelings for Lisanna and for Lucy as well. They're confising him but he needs to sort things out. He needs to do it fast since a heavy feeling was starting to fill the pit of his stomach. Whenever he saw the wedding venue, his chest would hurt and the feeling would be even heavier than the first. He really had to figure out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update darlings.  
> I just finished the exams and now practicing everyday for our Field Demonstration or Family Day.  
> It's a day when each section competes with other sections of the same level and your parents get to watch you.  
> It's really stressful and hectic but we'll hopefully win this.  
> Wish us Luck darlings!!!


	4. First List and More Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ CHAPTER 2 AGAIN. I MADE SOME CHANGES TO IT.  
> Instead of having Natsu's big day already I decided on making it three days before his weddding.  
> Anyway, please read it again.  
> Thank you!

        Everybody was still busy with all the preparations that were left undone. Lucy had left notes for them to follow to make everything a success. It was lively, cheerful and the aura was good but no one could deny that there was sadness under all of it. They were undoubtedly happy but now that Lucy was gone, everything just seemed different. Less vibrant, less colorful, less laughter was heard and less smiles were seen.

        Erza was one of the closest people to Lucy. Aside from being a team member, she was also a very trustworthy friend. She knew for a very long time that Lucy had harbored feelings towards Natsu but always kept it hidden. She observed and watched quietly as the two, Natsu and Lucy, grew closer together. She really thought that Natsu might not be that oblivious but she was wrong. Lisanna came into the picture. She loved Lisanna and was happy for her but at the same time, she actually felt her breaking when she saw how much Lucy had gone through in the six months that we were all together and the next six months that Natsu and Lisanna were already dating. Ever since Lisanna came back everyone noticed the change in Lucy.

 _'I wish that I could've helped you Lucy...'_   The scarlet-haired maiden thought as she walked to the guild with Jellal by her side.

        "Has she not called you yet Erza?" Jellal asked her. She has a magic card that Lucy gave her so that she'd be able to call or vice-versa.

        "No she hasn't yet. I'm actually thinking of calling her first but I thought that it'd be best to give her space to think and cool down." She said. Her voice was no doubt, full of worry. She wanted to go with her but Lucy said that she'd be fine and that the guild would need her more.

         "Don't worry too much. I'm sure she'll call you when she's ready. It was really tough on her part." Jellal said to her then he wrapped his hands around Erza's. They continued to walk silently to the guild. It wasn't an awkward silence but rather a comfortable one.

 _'Even at the last second she still managed to smile...'_ She thought as they went in the guild hall to see how everything looked like. Everyone was staring at the two of them so Erza started to get confused and a little flustered. Then someone talked from behind them.

          "You do know that it's best if you keep your business affairs with each other more private don't you think so?" That's the only time she realized that Jellal was still holding her hand. And the worst part was probably the fact that their fingers managed to intertwine themselves together. She quickly let go then turned around to see Mira Jane laughing innocently at them. Jellal was also for a fact laughing. She did what came into her mind first which was to land a hard punch on the side of Jellal's arm.

          "That's what you get for laughing." Erza said. She turned to the others who were watching her and told them to finish their work if they don't want to face a very severe punishment afterwards. They were all laughing and having fun that time, but in their hearts and minds they all wished the very same thing. For Lucy to be there laughing with them.

 

* * *

           

           Natsu went to get his tuxedo with Happy. They ate together just like old times, before Lucy came. They walked and picked up stuff that were need for the wedding. Natsu noticed the clipboard that Happy was holing. He'd been flipping and scanning over it for quite some time. Being the curious guy he it, he took it from Happy and read it. It was a carefully organized and well-written list of things to do.

           "Natsu! That's mine." Happy said in surprise. He ignored him and read it. He was stunned, shocked. Happy was looking at him with guilt.

 

* * *

 

 

        ** _For Natsu's successful wedding day_**

**_Things to do After I leave: Day 1 (Happy)_ **

_1) Make sure to wake Natsu up. I'm sure he'll be tired and sleep in._

_2) Make breakfast for him and don't forget to include his Protein shake. (He'll need the energy)_

_3) Eat with him. I'm pretty sure that he'll want someone to share the meal with._

_4) Get him to take a shower and put on some decent clothes._

_5) Pick up Natsu's tuxedo with him. Make sure it fits well and that he feels comfortable in it._

_6) Go and eat lunch like you used to do without me._

_7) Enjoy the rest of the day._

_**~ Lucy xoxo**_

 

* * *

 

 

  _'It's a list that's from Lucy. She made it for me.For the wedding...'_ Natsu kept on thinking about that list even after Happy had taken it back.

          _'Why did she make that list? Why didn't she do it herself? Why did she leave? Lucy...'_ These thought kept running in his mind. It kept him distracted and space off. He didn't even notice the master sitting beside him until he cleared his throat. 

         "Master? When did you get here. I didn't even see you coming. Must be because you're so short" Natsu said and earned a hit on the head. He rubbed it while apologizing to Master Makarov. Natsu already had a feeling that he'd give him a 'talk'.

         "I know that it's bothering Natsu. You're like my son so I can tell." Master said as he looked at Natsu for a response. There was a long eerie silence before Natsu decided to speak about it. It did bother him and he had a lot of questions to ask about Lucy.

         "Why? Why'd you let her leave gramps?" Natsu asked fervently. Natsu wanted answers. He wanted to know why but nobody would tell him. He silently hoped that master Makarov would tell him something. He wanted to know why they let her leave the guild when they obviously didn't want her to.

         "I wish I could tell you everything but I cannot. It has to come from Lucy herself Natsu. She wanted to leave. It was her decision to make, not ours." That was all that he answered. Natsu knew that the only time he'll get an answer is when he and Lucy would talk again.

         "She was like the daughter I never had. I didn't want her to leave. Nobody did. But it was harder for us to let her stay here knowing what she's going through every singe day Natsu. I just hope you'll try to understand that you're not the only one she left behind." Master added then he walked away like it never happened. Natsu grew more confused at what he said.

        _'What she's going through everyday? Did someone threaten her? Was she sick? Did someone hurt her?'_ Natsu thought about Lucy and everything she's been doing.

        _'She seemed okay though... She's still like usual everyday.'_ He thought of nothing that could hurt or threaten her.

         That was all he could think about. He couldn't focus on anything else after talking with master Makarov. He knew that he wasn't the only one Lucy left but the other guild members knew why she even left in the first place. He just couldn't understand why Lucy didn't tell him the reason.

        _'Why didn't she tell me? We were best friends weren't we? So why...'_ Again Natsu had a hard time breathing when he thought of Lucy as his best friend. It was like that title didn't suit her at all. 

          With that, he knew that this night would be a long sleepless night. If he ever falls asleep it would either be shallow or filled with bad dreams. Dreams filled with unending fight with Lucy. He didn't want to see it.

 


	5. Pains and Comforts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for the sake of it:  
> This is only a fanfiction. The real story does not belong to me.  
> I am only writing this because I want to see a different scene.  
> The story is not mine.

   

    

Lucy woke up because of the sunlight generously pouring in from her balcony doors. She must have forgotten to draw the curtains close when she went back in last night. She's been thinking about the wedding non-stop since she left. She's also had a hard time sleeping since getting back in the Hearfilia mansion. Lucy stood up and opened the glass door to her balcony to get some fresh air. 

    "They'll probably do everything in the last minute." Lucy said talking to no particular person but herself. She leaned on the ledge, giggled lightly at the thought and closed her eyes breathing in the morning air. Her thoughts were momentarily disrupted when she heard a feint knocking on her door. She went in and closed the balcony doors.

    "Hey princess? Can I come in now or are you still asleep?" She laughed at the question. Lucy recognized whose voice that was and just by the endearment she already knew that it was Loki right outside her door. 

    "I am still very much asleep Loki but you can come in and stare at my sleep-talking face." She replied, sarcasm oozing from every word she said. Loki peered in first then entered when he saw Lucy up and about already.

    "Did you really have to ask if I was still sleeping Loki?" She asked. Arms crossed and eyebrows raised. Lucy was trying her best to look intimidating and serious but she knew that Loki wouldn't fall for it. He'd just casually play along and that's exactly what he did.

    "Well how else would I know if my dear princess was still asleep? You did say earlier that you were sleep talking." He replied. His every word lace with a sarcastic melody. She continues their little acting.

    "Oh I don't know... Maybe knock then wait for someone to open the door perhaps?" Lucy said then smiled sweetly, as if she was challenging him to counter her attacks. And counter her, he did.

    "But if I just knock and then wait for you to open the door than I might have waited years before you open it sleeping beauty. And being the gentleman that I am, knocking and asking permission is a must." And with that, Lucy knew that she had lost in this little game that they were having.

    "Okay fine you win this time Loki." She finally gave up. It's been two days since she left and in that time, she could always count on Loki to cheer her up. He's been with her since the day she decided to leave. 

    _'Comforting. Caring. Understanding. That's what Loki is.'_ Lucy thought to herself. She's seen the better side of the womanizing playboy ever since Lisanna came back to the guild. She has nothing against Lisanna. Even if she was given the chance to be at her place right now, she wouldn't take it because she knew that being with Lisanna made Natsu happy. She's been seeing it for the past six months that they were friends and the six months that they've been dating. It adds up to one whole year.

    Loki’s voice snaps her back to her senses. “Are you okay Lucy?” She didn’t know how to answer it. She doesn’t know the answer. She chose to leave thinking that it was for the best. Was she okay? Is this what she really wants? Did she do the right thing? These questions keep her awake. The questions she face every night. Every sleepless night.

    Just one question made the air heavy with tension. It was so thick that she had to swallow down the urge to cut through it. “I’m okay, I think so. Maybe lacking a little sleep but it’s nothing I can’t take.” She finally replies. The tension disappears.

    Loki visibly relaxes and his face softens. He holds her hands. She lets her hands be enveloped by bigger ones. Calloused, most likely from all the fighting. He gave it a light squeeze. It took her a little bit by surprise but she doesn’t pull her hand back. He was first to break the silence.

    “Lucy, I’ll always be here for you. You know that. Whatever happens. You can always count on me.” He said in a hushed tone that she almost missed it. It was as if he was telling her a secret. She knew. She felt it. Loki would always be there for her.

    She just nods in response. Words weren’t so much needed. “So how about we go down and have breakfast. Sound good?” In her mind she thanks him for the reassurance. For breaking the tension. For everything he did.

    “Why not? I’m kind of hungry anyway.” They made their way down in silence. A soothing atmosphere around them. At the table, they ate while keeping a light conversation floating around. It was relaxing but she knew that she can never escape the pain of reality. They went to the library because she wanted to read and Loki wanted to keep her company.

    _‘Tomorrow’s the last day. After that, he’ll belong to Lisanna and there’s nothing I can do.’_  She smiled, sadly though. It’s the second day and tomorrow would be the last. She wanted to go back so badly and tell him why she left. But that would mean breaking her promise to Lisanna.

    “Lucy, please stop looking like that...” She heard Loki say. She didn’t want anyone to worry but that’s what she keeps on doing. Worrying other people. It wasn’t a request. It wasn’t a question either. She didn’t know how or what to respond so she slightly shakes her head.

    He stood up and went over to her. The next thing she knew was that she was captured in a warm, comforting embrace. She felt all the tears she’d held back for so long, forming in her eyes. First, dropping slowly, one tear at a time then in a split second, the dam broke down, it was all pouring out.

    She was just there. Cradled in Loki’s arms with her face hidden in his chest. Her emotions were bursting and her tears flowing like a river. She tried to pull away but his hold only tightened. “Don’t. Just let it all out Lucy. Yes it hurts seeing you cry but it hurts me more to see you smiling and pretending to be okay when I know you’re not. While deep inside I know you’re dying.” Her body was shaking as she listened. Not just because she was crying but because everything Loki said was true.

    “Stop pretending that everything’s okay because we both know that it’s not. Don’t keep it all to yourself Lucy. If it’s too much for you then give some of the pain to me. Let me help you because it hurts not to be able to help.” He finished. She felt his embrace loosen.

    “Loki, you’ve been nothing but a great help ever since I told you I was leaving the guild. I don’t even know how to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I’m sorry for making you worry. I just...” She couldn’t continue it out loud. But in her head she did.

 _‘I just want to forget. I want to escape reality even for just a little while. I want to think that nothing’s changed. I just...want to be okay.’_ It kept repeating over and over in her head. Those were the things she wanted but she knew that nothings the same. She’d fall asleep late at night wishing that Natsu would be there when she woke up. She’d wake up hoping that it was all fine.

    She felt Loki pulling back. Then he tilted her chin and wiped away her tears that were still falling helplessly from her eyes. She let him. After wiping her tears, Loki bent down and whispered in her ear. She felt his breath tickling her neck but she dismissed the feeling immediately.

    “I’m not the only one you can talk to you know. Didn’t you give Erza a magic calling card? Why don’t you go and talk to her. Ask her how everything’s going. Maybe you just need another girl to talk to.” He said. She didn’t need to think about it. Maybe that’s just what she needed. A girl talk.

    “Thanks Loki. Just...thank you.” That was all she managed to say. Lucy ran back to her room to call Erza. While she was running she heard someone laughing lightly. She turned her head just slightly to see Loki looking at her with a grin on her face. He winked at her. With that she shook her head lightly and found herself smiling and giggling too. “I’ll be right here if you need anything.” He said as she disappeared behind her bedroom doors.

 

* * *

 

   

She got to her room feeling lighter. She felt better. It felt as though a large weight was lifted from her. She took the calling card and proceeded to call Erza. First try was no luck. It just kept on ringing. So she tried again. She heard a voice from the other end and her heart instantly fell. She was frozen, glued to where she was standing. Tears were threatening to fall again. The card was still near her ear. She could hear them fighting. Erza and Natsu. They were fighting for the card.

    She heard Natsu’s voice. _‘Erza Please just let me talk to her. Just a minute and I’ll give it back. Please I just...I need to talk to her.’_ He was begging. He never begged before. He fought for the things he wanted. Then she heard the card being passed. Erza must’ve given it to him. Then she heard it. That voice. No. His voice. The voice she came to love so much. It pains her to hear it now.

    “Lucy? Luce...Are you there? Please say something. Anything Lucy. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” His voice was laced with worry. She felt it. She was crying. Again. She didn’t even know it until she felt her tears dropping on her other hand. She had to answer. He deserved an answer. She left without telling him. This was the least she could give him. Reassurance.

    “I’m okay Natsu. I’m doing great. Don’t worry okay? I’m fine.” She lied. In her head it says that she’s trying to. She’s only trying to be okay. She’s only pretending to be fine. But the truth is she was running away. She was hiding. She was scared of facing the truth. She fell in love with her best friend and he’s getting married. As far as she knew, Natsu loves Lisanna. And her, she was just a friend. His best friend.

    “You don’t know how glad I am to hear that but why... Why’d you leave Luce? When’re you coming back? I mean, you leaving is only a temporary thing...right?” There it was. She knew that he’d ask. He has the right to ask and to know. She wanted to tell him. But she didn’t.

    “I’m so sorry Natsu. Believe me, I wanted to tell you so many times but now it’s just...It’s too late. I don’t even know if I’ll be coming back. Just...please understand. I’m doing this for the both of us.” She replied instead. She was thankful that Natsu couldn’t see her. That he wasn’t near her. If he saw her, if he was near then he’d be able to tell. He’d already know. He’d see the longing and want in her eyes. He’d be able to sense it. The overflowing love.

    “What do you mean it’s too late? I don’t understand Lucy. Just please tell me. I’ll try hard to understand. Just...please come back. I miss you Luce...” She heard the longing in his voice but it didn’t carry the same intensity as hers did. That broke her heart even more. She was going to tell him although she knew what he would only think of it as friendly and nothing more.

    Her heart was beating rapidly. She thought it might pop out of her chest if she didn’t control it. “I love you Natsu. I love you so much.” She said it. But just as she had predicted, Natsu took it very differently.

    “I love you too Luce. We’re friends after all so please just come back. It’s only tomorrow left before I get married. I want you to be there.” She was in pain. It was a burning, searing kind of pain. She was reminded again that she was just another friend. Her heart ached. She felt a lump in her throat. She couldn’t breathe. She stayed silent until Natsu talked again.

    “Erza asked me earlier if I was sure about the marriage. So I asked her if she didn’t want me to get married. She told me that I shouldn’t ask her but to ask you instead. Do you want me to get married Lucy? Are you okay with it?” There was something in his voice that she couldn’t pin on. She knew why Erza said that to him. Maybe Erza wanted to give her a chance. But only Natsu can answer his question.

    “I’m not supposed to be answering that Natsu. And even if I didn’t want you to get married the decision would still be up to you. It doesn’t matter if I’m okay with it or not. You’re the one getting married. Not Erza. Not me.” That was what she said but her heart had a different answer.

 _‘No, Natsu. I don’t want you to get married. I don’t want you to belong to someone else. I want you to stop the wedding and come find me. I want you to be with me instead.’_ That was her real answer. She didn’t say it. She ruined the chance Erza gave her. She had so many chances but she gave it all up. She hid her feelings and now this was the consequence.

    “I see...” She heard it again. The tone in his voice that she couldn’t explain. That was the last she heard of him though. She heard the card being passed, probably to Erza. The requip mage spoke on the other end. “I’m sorry Lucy. I was about to answer the first call but then Natsu saw me with the card. He just wanted to talk to you.” She explained.

    “I told him that I loved him. So much, Erza. But he thought of it differently. He thought I still meant it as a friend. He told me to come to the wedding then asked me if I wanted him to get married.” She was breaking down. Bawling and sobbing and crying. She heard a knock then the door burst open.

    In a blink of an eye, she was in Loki’s arms again. He hugged her tight, spreading his warmth over her. Her took the card from her and told Erza that maybe they could talk some other time. He set the card down on her desk. She felt weak and helpless in his arms. But she felt safe and protected at the same time.

    She felt Loki pick her up. He was carrying her bridal style to the bed the he set her down ever so gently as if she was a glass he didn’t want to break. But the thing is, she didn’t need to break anymore because she was already broken. Shattered to a million tiny pieces. She was broken.

    “Go to sleep Princess. You need the rest.” His voice was low but comforting. He ruffles her hair then turns to leave. She stopped him. Held his hand and pulled him back. “Stay. For a little while. Or at least until I fall asleep.” She asked. He looked shocked. Even she didn’t know where that came from. Maybe she just wanted company.

   “Sure Princess. I’ll stay with you since you don’t want me to leave so badly. I knew that you’d invite me sooner or later.” He wiggled his eyebrows and had a smirk on his face. He winked at her suggestively. She laughed and hit him lightly. In her head, she was thanking him for lightening the mood again. Loki lay down with her after all the teasing. She closed her eyes inching closer to him. She felt his arms wrap around her and a light kiss on her forehead. Soon she closed her eyes and dreamed of a better place.


	6. A Step Closer

* * *

 

_‘I love you Natsu. I love you so much.’_

_‘I love you Natsu. I love you so much.’_

_‘I love you Natsu. I love you so much.’_

    It kept playing in his head. Like a broken record repeating the same thing over and over again. His heart stirred every time he thought about it. Pounding rapidly against his chest. Natsu felt like his heart burst out when he heard those words. But like he usually did, he dismissed it abruptly. Instead, he put the thought of friendship in his mind.

_“I love you too Luce. We’re friends after all so please just come back. It’s only tomorrow left before I get married. I want you to be there.”_

_“I love you too Luce. We’re friends after all so please just come back. It’s only tomorrow left before_

_“I love you too Luce. We’re friends after all so please just come back.”_

_“I love you too Luce. We’re friends after all.”_

_“I love you too Luce.”_

    The pounding in his chest was replaced by a somewhat familiar ache he has grown used to every time he thought of Lucy as just a mere friend. Natsu felt like he used, added, too many, much, words when she talked to Lucy. It felt as though he was using more than necessary words to cover up what he actually wanted to say. What he actually felt. But he wasn’t sure. He was getting married. To the girl he’s liked ever since they were small.

_‘Liked.’_ Natsu thought about it for a while. He liked Lisanna but did he love her? Was he sure? He never really thought about it until now. He was contemplating over this when Erza cut his line of thoughts.

    “What did she say Natsu? What did she tell you? Did she say anything important? When did she say she was coming back?” He knew Erza would press this on until she was satisfied. Remembering everything she had told him, Natsu found himself being surrounded by darkness. He felt a pang in his heart. Lucy had told him that she wasn’t coming back. It hurts for him to think that it’s even slightly possibly true. He didn’t want it to be true.

_“I’m so sorry Natsu. Believe me, I wanted to tell you so many times but now it’s just...It’s too late. I don’t even know if I’ll be coming back. Just...please understand. I’m doing this for the both of us.”_

    Doing it for the both of us? He couldn’t understand that statement for some reason. It felt wrong when he heard her say those words. It was wrong because people were getting hurt. And it isn’t just the two of them. And also, most probably, because of something else. Something that’s there but isn’t acknowledge.

    “She said that she’s fine. She told me that it was too late for her to tell me why she left and that she doesn’t even know if she’ll be coming back.” Every word felt thick of emotion and like a stab across his already aching chest. The tension grew and eventually became too thick for the both of them.

    Before any of them could talk, they both heard a knock on the door. Natsu opened the door to reveal the white haired girl he was going to spend his life with, supposedly. He sensed worry in her despite the smile that’s stretched on her face.

    “Can we talk Natsu?” As Lisanna said that, Erza made her way out leaving the two of them alone. Natsu watched as Lisanna went past him and sat on the couch. He could smell fear and anxiety on her. Somehow, deep within him, he knew what Lisanna wanted right now. He could already tell by the expression that was strewn across her face.

    “I love you Natsu. I really, really do. And it hurts me to see you like this so I’ve decided to postpone the wedding until you’ve recovered from the incident. I already told the others. I’m sorry if I didn’t consult you or tell you about it sooner. I just think its best since everyone was affected and also because I kind of have no maid of honor now.” Natsu couldn’t believe what he was hearing at first. But for some reason it made him feel relieved but also afraid. He had stopped listening after she mentioned the wedding. He didn’t even care about why Lisanna wanted to postpone it. It made him feel guilty somehow.

    “I...It’s...It’s alright. It’s fine. I guess we do need a breather after what happened since it was really sudden. I just can’t believe she’d leave Lis. I can’t even find a reason why she had to in the first place. She said she wanted to tell me but it’s already too late.” Then he remembered and felt the now familiar ache building in his chest. A null ache that he could never even begin to describe.

_“I’m so sorry Natsu. Believe me, I wanted to tell you so many times but now it’s just...It’s too late. I don’t even know if I’ll be coming back. Just...please understand. I’m doing this for the both of us.”_

    She wasn’t coming back. He wanted to accept it but he just couldn't bring himself to so. _‘Lucy was a friend. She was family. They were a team. She was his best-‘_ Lisanna interrupted his train of thoughts.

    “But I promise you that right after everything’s calmed down we’ll immediately resume the wedding. I’m sure it won’t take long for everyone to get over it. It was Lucy’s choice to leave after all. Although it was quite insensitive and rude for her to leave so suddenly, and during an upcoming important event too. She should’ve at least told us earlier so we could’ve prepared for her to leave. Right Natsu?”

    He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Natsu expected this reaction from Lisanna the least. Her words did not sound that hurtful and were said with nonchalance but he could sense that every letter, every syllable was laced and coated with anger and hatred. It was rolling off of her in waves. Natsu couldn’t understand why she spoke about Lucy the way she did. They were never that close but this was the first time that he had sensed this overwhelming anger from her and he didn’t like it.

    “How could you say that? Of course it would take us time to heal and adapt. It would take us forever to accept that she left because Lucy’s a part of this guild. She’s family and everyone here treasures her. I’m sure she has her reasons for leaving and Master knows that. Everyone here loves her Lisanna so don’t talk about her that way.” His breath was coming in deep pants and his heart is beating fast. He couldn’t put his head around the fact that Lisanna could actually say those words.

    “Then how about _you_ Natsu? Do you love her?”

    _‘Why is she even asking that? Of course I love Lucy.’_ Natsu thought to himself. But he felt like Lisanna was implying something else. Natsu knew what she meant but he refused to acknowledge it.

    “Of course I love Lucy! She’s my best friend. We’ve been together since the start.” And then he felt it again. That familiar sting every time he said best friend. Every time he referred to Lucy as his best friend. It was painful. An empty pain that didn’t end. It was like a bottomless pit in his chest where knives and daggers were continuously thrown.

    “Then what about me Natsu? Do you love _me_?” And there it was. The question even he was still figuring out. Natsu couldn’t answer. After a while, he was supposed to say something but Lisanna already spoke.

    “Of course you do! How silly of me to even ask that. Why would you even marry me if you don’t love me? I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I’m just exhausted with the preparations. I didn’t mean any of it. I’ll go to my house and rest for awhile okay? I love you. See you tomorrow.” Natsu watched her until she disappeared to the other side of his door.

    _‘Then how about_ you _Natsu? Do you love her?’_

    _‘Then what about_ me _Natsu? Do you love_ me _?’_

_‘Why would you even marry me if you don’t love me?’_

    Natsu felt worse that he did before. His emotions were all mixed up. He wished that Igneel could be here so that he could ask him how to deal with what he’s feeling.

_‘Why_ did _I ask Lisanna to marry me? Oh yeah I remember. Everyone was expecting it. At the time we were only dating they were saying that we look good together and that we should just get married already. And I just felt that it was the right thing to do since everyone thought so. It was never from my heart. I_ like _Lisanna but I don’t love her. I never did. ’_

It was a step closer to figuring out his feelings but Natsu knew that that wasn't all there is. He knew that he had to sort things out fast or else he’d lose Lucy for good. Natsu made it his next mission. To end things with Lisanna then figure out who Lucy is in his heart. Natsu knew, even though he never acknowledged it, that Lucy wasn't just a friend. She was special. And he needed to bring her back.

 

* * *

 


	7. Moving Forward

_‘Today is the day. At exactly ten in morning the wedding would be done and Natsu can never be mine. He’d belong to someone else. Permanently.’_ Lucy thought to herself as she continued with her morning routine. It took her twice as long as it normally would given that she’d space out every few minutes. It was taking a toll on her. Before she could space out again, a knock disrupted her thoughts.

“Princess, are you feeling alright? You’ve been in there for almost an hour already. Breakfast will get cold if you don’t come out soon.” Loki’s voice drifted in her ear and snapped her back to reality.

“Oh right. I’m already finished. Be out in a minute.” Lucy replied and true enough, she was out from the bathroom. She went to the kitchen to find Loki making her a cup of coffee. The aroma had her feeling just a tab bit better. She sat down and waited for Loki to finish.

“Hmm this smells great. I didn’t know you could cook.” She said while putting a spoonful of the soup in her mouth.

“There are still numerous things you don’t know about me Luce. I’m not only good in the kitchen. I’m good in other places too. But don’t you worry, I’m sure you’ll want to find out soon enough.” He winked at Lucy after. She couldn’t help but laugh at his innuendos. Some things just never change she thought to herself. She couldn’t even explain how grateful she was for Loki’s presence and how he wasn’t acting awkward around her.

“I don’t think I want to find out your other talents. They might be too extreme for me.” She humoured him. But of course Loki always had an answer for everything saying he can do gentle if she wanted. Of course.

“Oh I almost forgot to tell you, there’s an ongoing sale today at the market nearby. I have to recharge and go back to the Celestial spirit world but I’ll go ahead and ask Virgo to go with you alright? It’ll help take you mind of some things.”  Loki said mumbling the latter parts.

 _‘Of course, as normal as I want him to be, he’d still be cautious and considerate around me. It’s today after all.’_ She thought to herself.

“Don’t worry about me Loki. I’ll be fine on my own. You also need to take care of yourself okay? And don’t bother Virgo. I’m sure she’s doing other things too.” Lucy said as she gathered the dishes and placed them on the sink. She suddenly felt down all over again. Just from remembering. She started washing the plates in hopes of distracting herself when she felt Loki pull her close.

“I know you’ll be fine. But not right now Princess. I know you can’t be fine right now. And you can’t stop me from worrying. I care about you after all.” Loki was behind her with his arms wrapped around her in a warm embrace. She couldn’t help the tears that poured out from her eyes. Again, she found herself sobbing in Loki’s arms.

 _‘I want to stop being like this. I want to move on and be happy. For both me and for Natsu.’_ Lucy thought as she kept on crying her heart out.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been relying on you too much these days. I just...feel pathetic. It’s like I can’t even go through a day without bursting into tears. And I...I just want to be okay Loki. I want to stop hurting but it won’t go away. He’s probably having the time of his life right now with Lisanna. I don’t...I can’t even think about it.” She said to Loki and somehow a weight was lifted off her shoulders after having said all of it out loud.

“Hey, look at me Princess. You’re far from pathetic. Okay maybe just a tiny bi-ow. I was just kidding. But really you’re strong and everyone knows that. It took so much of you to let go. Now, I want you to enjoy this day. Like it’s going to be the last you’ll live. But don’t have too much fun. Especially with the guys from town.” His reply made Lucy want to try.

“Alright, alright. Go back to your world lion. I don’t want you passing out on me right now. I’ll find things to do and entertain myself while you’re gone.” She said. And with a quick kiss on her forehead, Loki vanished into glittering lights.

Over three hours had passed and Lucy had managed to chat with almost every worker in the Heartfilia Konzern and he finished reading a book from their library. She was currently helping the chef in baking some sweets for the children in town for when she goes to the market later. They were startled when Spetto, the trusted house maid came in the kitchen saying Lucy had a visitor.

 _‘A visitor? It couldn’t be...No, no Lucy. Stop getting your hopes up.’_ She shook her head and wiped her hands before following the maid to the receiving area of the mansion.

“He’s in there Miss Lucy. He was very adamant about talking to you today no matter what.” Spetto said. With a curt nod she went on to do her daily duties leaving Lucy alone. She pushed the doors open and saw a tiny man facing the ceiling high windows. Upon figuring out who he is, she quickly went to stand beside him.

“Master Makarov? What’re you doing here? Why aren’t you at the guild?” So many questions were flying in her mind about the Master being here. They sat down and chatted for a while before the Master brought on the real reason as to why he came all the way from Magnolia to the mansion. He told her that he had to leave quickly while Natsu was still preoccupied to notice his absence.

“I also came here to tell you that they postponed it. Everyone was seemingly lacking in spirits so the couple decided to resume after recovering from your absence.”  Makarov said with force nonchalance. It was as if he was waiting for her to react.

“Is that so...Then can you please tell them not to worry? I’m quite alright Master. I’ll move on eventually. And besides I’m not alone here. I have all the workers and I have Loki too.” Even though her mind felt like it was going to burst from the overload of information, her heart was significantly relived. Like the thorns were suddenly plucked out of her chest.

“If that’s what you really want my dear. But please, do not forget the guild. We are still here for you even though we are quite the journey away.” The Master’s words never failed to comfort her. He’d always been like a father to her. After their talk, Lucy accompanied Master Makarov out. When they were already at the gates he handed her a letter.

“I almost forgot to give this to you. It’s from Happy.” And with that the Master left her standing without any explanation.

Lucy placed the letter in her pocket deciding to read it later before she went to sleep. She also decided that she would o to the market earlier than planned in hopes of calming down both her heart and her mind. She went back in the mansion and got the cookies from the chef and went on to the market place.

 _‘Wow, there sure are a lot of people today. I guess the sale’s a pretty big thing here.’_ She thought as she made her way to the bread section. She thought about what the guys back in the mansion would like as well as what Loki would prefer. Lucy went down to the fruits and vegetables section then last to the meat section. After buying all the essentials Lucy went to the place where the children frequent.

“Miss Lucy you’re here! We missed you!” The children immediately crowded her, voicing out how they waited for her. Lucy gave the treats to them and they all sat down to eat. Rye, a seven year old boy came up to her after finishing the cookie.

“Someone was looking for you earlier in the market Miss Lucy. He was really weird and noisy. Everybody was looking at him.” Rye said to her. Lucy wondered if it was Master Makarov who they saw.

“Yeah, I saw him too! He kept asking if a lady named Lucy came by or passed through here. I told him I haven’t since it’s the first time I’ve seen the guy before.” Haruka, a young girl, said while she ate her treat.

“Did the guy you were talking about happen to be small with white blonde hair and a moustache?” Lucy asked the two, now very curious as to who was looking for her at this time. Unless it was the Master.

“No. He was pretty tall. Very noisy. And he kept sniffing around the place. He was really weird Miss Lucy. He kept asking us where the Heartfilia mansion is and how to get there. But we didn’t tell him. And oh oh! He had really pink hair. We actually laughed at him but he kind of got mad and said it was salmon. Then we ran.” Haruka said to Lucy with a straight and determined face. Lucy was shocked. There was only one person in the world she knew who got mad when his hair was called pink. That was Natsu. But it’s not possible. He’s back at the guild. Master said so earlier too.

Then Lucy remembered the letter that Happy had made Master deliver to her. She  got it out from her pocket and opened it.

 

* * *

_Dear Lu-chan,_

_This is Happy. I just want to tell you that this is urgent. We’re on our way to you right now. And also the wedding was cancelled. Well not really. It was just postponed but I don’t want to make you feel bad._

_Oh wait that’s not what I’m supposed to say._

_We’re coming to the mansion but I’ll try and distract Natsu and buy you some time. He’ll definitely know if you’re still there._

_Happy_

* * *

 

Lucy read the note over and over again. She didn’t wasn’t to believe that Natsu was out there right now looking for her. She didn’t know if she would be happy or afraid.

 _‘He's looking for me? He's here? But God, I don’t know what I’d do if he finds me. I'll probably cry my heart out again. I’ve only started moving on. It hasn't even been a whole day yet. It would hurt too much if I see him again.’_ While she was deep in her thoughts, she failed to notice the very person coming up behind her slowly moving forward. It was only until he made his presence known that Lucy noticed him. It was as  though she was frozen on the spot she was sitting on. She held her breath and waited.

“Lucy...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that I haven't updated at all for years I think. I've too caught up with so much.  
> But I'm back and I hope you guys enjoy this one


	8. Things We (don't) Say and Things We (don't) Do

“Natsu... What are we doing here? I’m tired and hungry and I wanna go back to the guild and be with Charles.” Happy dragged on in hopes of delaying the pink-haired slayer on his mission. But Natsu being as oblivious as he is took Happy’s commentaries as mere whining. In his mind, he won’t be deterred from finding the one thing he’s been missing for a while now.

“Just hang in there for a few more hours. I know it’s here somewhere. If only I remember how to get to that awesome mansion.” He began to sniff around the market for sign. For anything that would say that the two of them were closer to their destination. But it’s been a few hours and nothing. So Natsu resorted on asking around the market. He even went as far as yelling out Lucy’s name.

“Hi, have you seen a blonde-haired lady around? Her name’s Lucy and she lives in the Heartfilia Mansion. Do you know how to get there?” That’s what Natsu asked every vendor, every butcher and every baker but they all just looked at him weirdly and said the same thing.

_‘I don’t have the slightest clue as to what you’re talking about lad.’_

He was about to lose all hope. Just that second, a group of kids bumped into him. They were all noisy and they kept on laughing. They were playing with Happy and getting the blue cat to apparently make them fly. But Natsu paid no mind to them. He sniffed the air and caught what he was looking for. What had all his attention was the faint smell of strawberries and vanilla that clung to those kids. It was a scent he knew by heart.

_‘These kids smell like Lucy.’_

“Hey! Do you know a girl named Lucy? She's blonde and she lives in a mansion. Do you know where that is?” Natsu asked this blacked-haired boy who looked a bit like Gajeel.

“Uhh no... I don’t know who you’re talking about. And this is a small village. There ain’t no mansion here. Sorry pinkie.” The last part had him triggered. His hair was not pink.

“My hair is not pink. It’s salmon. There’s a huge difference kid. Salmon. Not pink.” Natsu argued with the kid whose name he found out was Rye. The other children joined in and teased him for having pink hair. Momentarily he forgot about his mission but snapped out of it quickly. Natsu asked the other children if they knew of Lucy but just like Rye, they didn’t.

Happy noticed the look on Natsu’s face and he did not like it one bit. He just hoped that Lucy read his letter and stayed in the mansion. That way Nastu won’t find her. But Happy also, at the back of his mind, wanted Natsu to succeed. But then again, he had a promise to keep Lucy.

“Look Natsu, the big fish are on sale today! Even the meat! Let’s go buy some and take it back to the guild. I’m sure Mira-chan would cook us something good. And I want to give some Charles and Wendy too. Come on! You can share yours with Lisanna.” Happy said, all the while dragging Natsu further away from those rowdy children.

“Those kids know something Happy. I can feel it.” Nastu said as Happy took his wallet to buy some half-priced meat and fish.

“Well I wouldn’t know. I don’t like those children. They keep on pulling my wings. And they were pretty heavy.” Happy said as he ate one of the fish he bought. Natsu kept their scent, the children’s, in his mind. He just felt that those kids knew something. The scent that clung to them was proof of that. They smelled like Lucy and even if it was only a little, he was going to use it.

Natsu and Happy strolled by the near village and the market place. They kept on looking and asking around but they never got anything out of the people there. They were about to go home when they passed a corner and Natsu smelled strawberries and vanilla again. At first, he thought it was those kids again but decided against it because the scent was so much stronger than before. He sprinted towards it leaving Happy yelling at him but Natsu didn’t care. All he wanted at the moment was to find his Lucy.

As he rounded that corner, at the far end he saw the kids munching on some kind of cookie. And in the middle of those kids stood out a head of blonde hair. Natsu knew, even if that person was facing away from him, that the girl was Lucy. Her scent was overwhelming. He couldn’t speak. All he could do was tread silently, getting nearer with each step he took. Finally, when Natsu was close enough, he found his voice again.

“Lucy...” That was all that he could say, unfortunately.

Natsu saw Lucy tense up and her fists clench. She was frozen. They both were. Just then Happy came in shouting how Natsu was a pink-haired meanie who left him in the middle of nowhere. That broke the spell they were all in. Lucy stood up quietly and Natsu watched her every move. The children where long gone and the three of them were all alone. Lucy turned around slowly and faced Natsu. He couldn’t help himself. Natsu rushed forward and completely engulfed her in his arms.

“Lucy, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you. We’ve been looking for you all day. I thought I wouldn’t find you here. I thought I’d never see you again. I was so afraid.” Natsu said all the while basking the sweet scent he’s grown to love so much. After a while he felt her gentle hands on his back, reciprocating the embrace. And truth be told, Natsu could not be happier that moment. But not everything lasts forever.

“Um...hello? I’m still here.” Happy said with his arms crossed looking all annoyed at the two. Natsu couldn’t help but laugh. He pulled Happy and hugged both him and Lucy.

“I missed this too. I missed our team.” As Natsu said this, he noticed the sadness take over Lucy’s face. He let go of the cat and face her. It hurt him to see that kind of face on Lucy. He was so used to her smiling and laughing with them. Natsu held her cheeks and made her look at him.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Was it something I said...or did?” He was being paranoid but he couldn’t risk losing the girl again. He already did once. It wasn’t happening a second time around. Lucy just forced a smile and pulled his hand off.

“I...You-...Natsu you shouldn’t have come here.” And then he snapped.

 

* * *

 

“What are you talking about Lucy? What do you mean I shouldn’t have come here? Don’t you want to see me?  Or even Happy? You left but I waited for you to come back. We searched all day for you and that’s what you’re going to tell me right now!? What’s the matter Luce? Am I not good enough for you? Are we not- I don’t even know anymore...” Natsu said dejectedly and sat down.

This was the hardest thing she had to do. Lucy had to keep herself from kissing the dragon-slayer in front of her. She had to stop herself from saying just how much she missed him too; just how happy she is that he’s here. She had to restrain herself from saying she loved him over and over again. She’d only just started to move on but the whole universe was probably against her right now. It seemed to be taunting her. But she decided to let Natsu and Lisanna be.

_‘The wedding wasn’t cancelled. It was only postponed which means when everything’s probably settled down they’ll get married just the same. I won’t be able to take it.’_ Lucy reminded to herself.

“That’s not it Natsu. Of course I’m glad to see you guys. But you have to understand, I’ve only just gotten used to being away and now that you’re here I’ll have to start over again when you guys leave. You don’t know how hard it was for me. So please, for both our sake, go back to Magnolia. Go back to Fairytail.” Lucy said as she tried to keep her tears at bay. This was the last thing she wanted. To get rid of the only guy she dreamed of being with. But she made a promise to try and move on.

“Come back with us and you won’t have to. Come with us Luce.” Natsu said. Lucy just smiled and shook her head.

“It’s not that easy. I need this Natsu. I need to be away from you.” _‘Or else I won’t be able to stop myself from falling in love with you all over again.’_

“Then how about Loki? Why is he an exception to this? Why does he get to be with you? You need to give me something Luce, some sort of explanation because I’m going crazy just trying to figure out why the hell you’d leave.” Natsu said.

Frustration was very much evident on his face. Lucy wants to tell him. More than anything else, she wants to end Natsu’s misery and just lay every bit of her heart bare for the whole world to see. But just the thought of rejection hurt so much. Just the mere thought of their relationship crumbling down had her running.

‘But it’s already starting to fall apart isn’t it? It was doomed right from the moment my feelings started to change.’

 

* * *

 

_'Needs to be away from me? What's with that? Loki gets to see her everyday but I don't even know why she left. He gets to be with her while I'm here begging for a few minutes. For some kind of answer or excuse.'_ Natsu thought as he waited for Lucy to say something, anything.

"You don't know how hard that decision was for me. I couldn't sleep or eat. I had to think of every possible outcome that could happen. I thought of everybod-" 

"But me Lucy. You thought of how everyone would feel but me. Did you ever think that I might not be okay with you leaving? Did you even plan on telling me? Everyone knew Lucy. Everyone but me. We were supposed to be in this together. We promised that no one gets left behind. What happened to that?" Natsu cut her off.

Day in and day out, that's what kept Natsu up. All those unanswered questions floating in his head; taunting him relentlessly. He wanted, no, he needed those questions answered. He would surely go out of his mind trying t o figure out everything on his own. But one question bothered Natsu the most. One crucial question that he can't seem to muster enough courage to ask the lady.

_'What am I to Lucy? Who am I to her?'_

"I'm sorry if it seems like I broke our promise but this" Lucy pointed to her heart. "this can only take so much pain Natsu. And I want to tell you why, believe me. But that would mean hurting somebody else. Someone important to you. Telling you would most likely break her heart and I don't want that. I'd rather have mine broken instead." Lucy said and started to walk away.

Natsu started to panic and did the only thing that came into his mind. He pulled her back again and-

 

**Author's Note:**

> Cliffhanger I know.  
> What do you think he [Natsu] would do or what would happen?  
> Comment down you guess if you want and I'll give you a clue if you're right.


End file.
